Open mouth, insert...?

I am controversial

No, seriously... I am! All you have to do is look at Facebook and the highly posted upon question my friend postured and you will see!

I inflame passions of mothers everywhere by the simple words from my fingertips. Such power!

Am I bothered that a whole lotta women devoured me and one actually told me I am an abusive mother? Hmmm.... nope, not really. Because I think sitting on your child is abusive and that is, for some unknown reason, a totally acceptable punishment!

So, here's what happened... I told a friend that the way I cured my kiddos of biting was by biting them back.  Now, granted her son is pretty little and is teething and really not doing it on purpose, so it probably doesn't apply to her situation but holy cow did I wake the momma force!

So let's say you burned dinner so your husband burned your hand on the stove to teach you a lesson. Would that be okay? lol

Seriously? Umm, is this the same conversation? I hear that people disagree and I'm fine with that... but the vast difference in biting someone and burning their supper I totally don't understand.

First off, when a child bites there's reasons for it, such as... pain from teething, or anger. If you burn someone's food you either weren't paying attention, or, if you were doing it out of anger then the question comes in to say is it ok for your husband to burn your hand on the stove? Well, since I am talking about returning like with like, then... I guess, no... Because then he would have to burn my supper... its lessons being learned, not simple pain. If you are doing it for simple pain then its for the worng reason. For example... if I burned his hand on the stove on purpose, then YES... he would be justified in burning mine.

I am pretty sure I totally panicked and said nothing similar to this in the 'comment battle'... because I was too concerned that my friend now thought I was trying to convince her that chewing on your child is acceptable punishment... which I was not!

I guess that I have watched my kids grow, and my six younger sibilings, and my 8 nieces and nephews and I have seen all sorts of different parenting styles from friends etc. Some parents spank (yes, I am one of those if its needed) some put their kids onto a corner, some put their kids into a corner holding a stack of phone books, and some sit on their kids. Every single parent that does one of these, has a bad opinion and a reason why one of the others is 'wrong' or 'abusive'.

Maybe the problems are in the fact that we believe one is 'wrong' or 'abusive'. I know that there are lots of crazy people out there who do crazy and horrid things to their children, but I have to believe that, for the most part, people who care enough to make a comment about another's preference actually care about their children. And if you love your kids as much as I love mine, well then, there shouldn't be any hard feelings between us, regardless of how I grow my babies!

Its so easy to think we are 'right'... but I know from personal experience that not a single one of my kids is the exact same as the others. So why do we assume that someone else's kids are exactly the same as ours? What works for one child or family, may not work for another... but I see no problem in hearing what another mother has to say in regards to 'what would you do in this situation?'

Would I call another mother abusive? I guess if I felt strongly enough I might, but I am pretty sure that I would make sure that mother is abusive before tossing out accusations like that! I laughed... seriously LAUGHED at it because the very idea that I would do anything 'abusive' to my children is insane!

My children are grown with love, and I've bitten a finger when it needed to be, and I've spanked a butt when it needed to be, and I have put kiddos in 'timeout' when they needed to be, and I give my kids naps when they need them. But I have never, and will never abuse my children... I will never beat them, I will never cut them, I will never do a thing to one of them that can be construed as 'cruel and abusive'.

But... then again, maybe naps are considered abusive by some too?