I sat down a little bit ago to look through my pictures, and came across the photos from mine and Hayli's trip to see Nate graduate from BMT and our wedding.
Seeing those brought back so many memories... the pain of having him gone for so long, the feeling nervous to touch him again, the pride in seeing him become something he never thought he could, the tears of total bliss when we married each other. That was one of the best trips I have ever taken in my life!
Love that stands through trial and test
How can you explain the love you have for someone? I don't think its really possible.
When I met Nate I thought he was amazing, he was a good looking *ok, best looking man I ever met* and he was devoted to his family... talked about babysitting his neice and nephew on a Saturday night instead of going out, worked 2 jobs, one easy one in the night but he still did it.
When we started seeing each other I knew really quickly that I was falling hard and fast and it scared me. I was still afraid of love and commitment. I was not sure that I was 'good enough' for him, and it was asking a lot for a man to take on 2 children that weren't his own. So I sat down and talked to myself about it... I do this quite often... its kinda weird I know.
Learn to let yourself love
So, I told myself that I was not going to get in the way of a potentially good thing. I wanted to be a wife, mother and companion more than anything, but I had failed in so many ways by trying to control things. When I let go and told God that He could do what He wanted and I would try to hold up my end of the deal, well that's when I fell madly in love with the most amazing man in the world. But the bigger deal, that was when I let him love me! He loved me like no one ever could before, and he still does.
Some days the way he looks at me brings me almost to tears. Its a tenderness that is almost physical in nature. I know that he would do anything for me, and I know that I would give anything in return.
Is our marriage perfect? No... no marriage is because we are all human. We argue over the dumbest things, we get annoyed at each other, and we sometimes fuss and whine. But we ALWAYS deal with it and we always come back to that love.
What is love?
I have always believed that love can overcome anything. I have been told by past boyfriends that I was wrong, that love is not enough to make a relationship last. What I have learned is that is not true... If you look up the actual definition of love this is what it says.
–noun
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend
sexual passion or desire.
a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
sexual intercourse; copulation.
affectionate concern for the well-being of others:
strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
–verb (used with object)
to have love or affection for:
to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in:
to need or require; benefit greatly from: .
to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
to have sexual intercourse with.
If you look at all these you can see that the actual act of 'loving' is so much more than a simple 'feeling' true love is emotional, sexual, spiritual and an ACTION. You have to DO something to be in love, you have to act a certain way and feel the bubbles and all that... but infatuation comes first, and love develops.
How amazing is that?
Love is so powerful
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