The beauty in change

You spin me right around...

I look at the date today and see just how close it is to April and I get a little twist in my heart. April means spring really comes, some nice warm days, grass trys to grow and my mountains make my heart soar with their spring colors topped by just a little snow. April means I am one month closer to meeting my newest child and I get to go visit my family whom I miss dearly. April means... Sterling goes to be with his daddy.

The way that our visitation is set up means that my lil man lives with daddy for three months and then mommy for three months... at least till school starts. So I have had my buddy living here since January and I know that his other family is missing him like crazy, but that doesn't change how much I don't want him to leave!

I don't know how to explain my love for my kids, and I don't think many people can. The love I have for my guy though... I just have to say wow! I don't what it is about my boy that just turns me to jelly, his little arms have always felt like heaven to me. His little face with the cheekbones and 'squishies' that I gave him, I could kiss it all day! His way of loving his momma is different than the way my girls do it, just like the way I love him is different than the way I love my girls.

It's a different bond and it seriously has only gotten better as he's gotten older... I don't know how long little boys will stay open and sweet to their mommas before its 'not cool' but I know that nothing and no one will ever change the bond I have with him.  No matter how old he gets his eyes will always melt me, and his sweet laugh and smile, with his one squinty eye will always make me smile and my arms will always long to hug and hold him!

He tells me stories about things that are in no way real and I love his imagination.

He tells me how his 'heart really wants' something, and I feel like I would move the earth to get it.

He says, "Mom, I just love you."

And Buddy, I just love you too!